Tuesday, May 30

a fortress and refuge

'But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and refuge in the day of distress. O my strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love!' - Psalm 54:16-17

The Lord continues to reveal to me that He alone is my fortress and refuge. the past week has been difficult...I have been more sick than normal and more weak due to it. I continue to look to a change in circumstances, more rest, the 'right' food to eat that will stay down, help with Carson, help with the household chores for my refuge. If only...than I will feel so much better. The Lord has been so gracious to provide all of the above for me (well, maybe not that perfect food that works), and yet I still find myself weak and in the trenches of this sickness. He continues to draw me to Himself. To see that although he has not taken these circumstances away, it is Him and Him alone that continus to be my rock and provider. He provides my daily strength again and again and again. Oh, how great is the steadfast love of the Lord! Help me Lord, to sing of your praises all the day long!!!!

Thursday, May 25

Our favorite time of the day

Our most favorite time of the day (for the whole family) is when dada gets home from work. When Carson hears, 'dadas home,' he runs to the screen door (with his side kick Tucker, of course) to await Jon's entrance. He squeals in delight as Jon gets closer and closer!

Monday, May 22


I had a harder day this past Saturday. A number of circumstances and events brought much sorrow and pain to my heart. In spending time with the Lord that day, through many tears, I was only able to make it through singing the hymn 'How Firm a Foundation' to my Lord. Though this was all I did in the hour I spent with Him, my soul was uplifted. The pain and hurt still remain, but I fear not, for I know that I am upheld by His righteous right hand. I trust that He is with me, my troubles to bless!!!

(parts of the hymn...):
Fear not, I am with you, O be not dismayed;
for I am your God, and will give you aid;
I'll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand,
upheld by my righteous. omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call you to go,
the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
for I will be with you, your troubles to bless,
and sanctify to you your deepest distress.

When through fiery trials your pathway shall lie,
my grace, all-sufficient, shall be your supply;
the flame shall not hurt you; I only design
your dross to consume and your gold to refine.

Sunday, May 21

carson's funnies this week

Carson provides so much entertainment for me each week, I just have to fill you in on what I can remember. Carson loves to watch big trucks. When I hear the recycling truck arrive on Thursday mornings, I rush to open the front door. Carson presses himself up against the glass door, banging with excitement and waves to his friends (the recycling workers). They love to honk the horn for Carson and give lots of waves back.
In an attempt to step over Tucker this week, Carson got stuck half way in between. Realizing that he was sitting on top of Tuck, he grinned ear to ear and began to try and ride Tucker like a cowboy! Tucker allowed so much, before getting up (throwing Carson off).
Tonight, Carson shared an orange with me right before going to bed. We sure know one thing, sugar makes our son go CRAZY! Sprinting around the house, pulling ALL of the toilet paper out of the bathroom, climbing on everything, hitting himself in the head, laughing at who knows what. He provided much entertainment for us!
Then there are so many little things..looking at a picture of dada and then running to the front door expecting him to walk in. Running to me on the couch, repeating the words, 'yumyum, yumyum,' then running into the kitchen to see if I will follow to get him a yummy treat. Repeatedly hitting himself in the head anytime he hears the word 'ouch.' Jabbering on and on about who knows what in a language only he can discern. Oh, how much I love my son!

Friday, May 19

My help comes from the Lord...

I have had a hard time sleeping lately (a mix of nauseous ness at night, my mind churning and then just not sleeping). Each day I am very aware of how tired I am and how weak I feel. The Lord has been speaking to me and providing so much strength to me through the truth of his word. I have been holding fast to these two scriptures lately...

Isaiah 40:28-31- 'The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength...but they who wait for the Lord shall renew thier strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.'

Isaiah 41:14 - “I will help you, says the Lord.”

C.H. Spurgeon (commenting on 41:14)- Let us hear the Lord speak to each one of us – I will help you. It is but a small thing for Me, your God, to help you. Consider what I have done already. What! Not help you? Why, I bought you with My blood. What! Not help you? I have died for you; and if I have done the greater, will I not do the less? Help you! I have done more, and will do more – Before the world began I chose you. I laid aside My glory and became a man for you; I gave up My life for you; and if I did all this, I will surely help you now. In helping you, I am giving you what I have bought for you already. If you had need of a thousand times as much help, I would give it you; you require little compared with what I am ready to give. It is much for you to need, but it is nothing for me to bestow. “Help you?” Fear not!

Thursday, May 18

Allergy Testing

Carson has had an allergic reaction to something for the past month. The poor boy has been miserable (itching all over the place, breaking out in hives/bumps, congested….). We went to an allergist today who tested him for everything. I was fearful that it was going to be an allergic reaction to dogs or then some major food group. Thank the Lord that the only agents that came back positive were histamines and cat. We are starting him on some new meds today that will hopefully help out! It is so hard as a mom to watch your little one in pain without knowing or being able to make it go away. I am praying that these new meds work and that all of the discomfort that he has been in will go away. I’ll keep you updated!

These pictures are a little old (Carson is only 6 months old), but you can see that they are the best of friends! What would we do without Tuck-Tuck?!?

Tuesday, May 16

Words of encouragment

When we first found out about the news of our baby, a good friend directed me to this ecert from Besides Still Waters. I was reading it again today and oh how my soul was feed. I pray that as each day passes, that louder i will sing!!!!

"When your faith endures many conflicts and your spirit sinks low, do not condemn yourself.

There is a reason for your season of heaviness. Great soldiers are not made without war. Skillful sailors are not trained on the shore. It appears that if you are to become a great believer, you will be greatly tested. If you are to be a great help to others, you must pass through their trials. If you are to be instructed in the things of the kingdom, you must learn from experience. The uncut diamond has little brilliance, and the unthreshed corn feeds no one, and the untried believer is of little use or beauty. There are great benefits to come from your trials and depression.

Many people have comparatively smooth paths through life, but their position is not the equal of the tested believer. The one who is much plowed and often harrowed will thank God if the result is a larger harvest to the praise and glory of God by Jesus Christ. If your face is now covered with sorrow, the time will come when you will bless God for that sorrow. The day will come when you will see great gain from your losses, your crosses, your troubles, and your affliction. From your afflictions this glory shall spring, and the deeper your sorrow the louder you’ll sing."

Tuesday, May 9

Updates from the Smiths...

I have not been faithful to post lately and thought i should give a little update on how things are going here at the Smith household. Jon has been sick with the cold the past two days and Carson has a little congestion (praying that it ends at that). We have a lot of time to just be at home as a family enjoying one another (which has been wonderful). Some of our favorite family times are playing in the living room, watching Carson delight in the smallest and silliest things, bath time for Carson, and playing just about anything outdoors.
We had a doctor's appointment on Monday and got to hear the baby's heartbeat again...always such an amazing moment. the doctors said that the sickness that i am experiencing is probably due to the disorder and that it may continue much longer than we had hoped. I am trusting in God's faithfulness to provide strength and hope as this continues, just as He has these past three months. I have learned so much about where my ultimate refuge comes from, not a change in circumstances or rest, but in Him alone. I trust in His perfect plan for this pregnancy and this child and rejoice and delight in each day (as difficult or challenging as it may be) that he provides for me.