mother's day

this mother's day has been mixed with both sorrow and joy for me. i can so easily be aware of all that i have lost as a mother today...but there is so much more that i have gained. as i was having my quiet time this morning, i opened a mother's day card from my amazing husband. in it was this quote...

'your parting is not for long. This ruined body will be raised, and all its ravished beauties more than repaired. As for my other loved ones, whom i see exposed to disease and death, i know that death cannot touch them unless my Heavenly Father, who orders everything for me in love and wisdom, sees it best. so that i can trust them, though trembling, to His keeping, and be at peace. Our little one is now a ransomed spirit...this is a hope inexpressible and full of glory. As we feel our deep anguish, our hearts bleed. But as i ask, 'where is the soul whose beams gave clay all its beauty and preciousness?' i triumph. Has it not already begun, with an infant voice, the praises of our Savior? perhaps one of the loving angels that bore home his spirit has been teaching and training him to heavenly manhood. perhaps he has been committed to our sainted father, or to my wife's sainted grandmother. as one of their redeemed posterity. to keep and train till we can embrace him again. at any rate, he is in Christ's heavenly house and under His guardian love. Now I feel, as never before, the blessedness of the redeeming grace and divine blood, which have ransomed my poor babe from all the sin and death which he inherited through me.'

love, thank you for always pointing me Heavenward...for helping me to always fix my eyes on Christ...i truly do not deserve you.

through out the day i have experienced such a peace and such joy. i am humbled that the Lord has allowed me to have one foot here on earth and one foot in Heaven. I have the gift in my son Carson, who brings me so much joy and laugher each and every day. and then i have the gift in my son Chase who reminds me daily of Heavean and the price that was paid on Calvary to enable him to be with God and experience eternal joy and happiness. over this past year and a half the gospel has become so much more alive to me than ever. it is at the hill of calvary that i have run today to experience such grace...where 'Christ was all anguish that i might be all joy, cast off that i might be brought in, wounded that i might be healed, athirst that i might drink, tormented that i might be comforted, entered darkness that i might have eternal light' (Valley of Vision, pg 42). may each day (even if they may be as hard as today has been) bring me to marvel more at the undeserving mercy that God has given me in the death of his own precious son!